Part two of Retreat - Day 2 // May 19, 2012

When we got to our cabin after canoeing, none of us dared to take a shower. We just changed and headed to the main area. It was nice to see that our priest was there with us. The youth coordinator announced that we were to have reconciliation. We were all sitting on the couch as we prayed for awhile and then we started the reconciliation. I sat on the couch by myself because all of us needed to spread out. I closed my eyes as I listened to the calming music playing. I was so tired and I felt like I had a fever, it was probably because of the rain. My friend felt my forehead and she said I was warmer than her. When it was my turn, I went to where the priest was and talked about my confessions. I felt comfortable about it and when I was done, I felt re-newed/refreshed. Before everyone could have their turn, the youth coordinator gave us a paper of which we needed to read and reflect. And he said if we’re done doing the confession, we could leave the main area. My sister’s friend and I headed to our cabin since we were already done. She took a shower first and after she was done, it was my turn. I felt better after taking a shower and it felt like my temporary fever already went away.

After changing and all that, our moms came to the cabin and said it was a great time to crash the guys’ cabin. She gave us streamers and whatnot. Not all the girls were there, there were probably just only half of us since the other half were probably still in the main area. We sneaked to the guys’ cabin since no one was there. We were very careful so that none of them can see us. When we got there, I picked up the purple streamer and put around the beds and everywhere in the room. The other girls did the same thing. They also took their bathroom curtain. Oh, and not just that but we also took their lightbulbs. Three of them. The bell rang and we all ran to the main area for the mass. Aaah, you see, I like going to mass but I was never a big fan of the part where we all need to hold hands and then shake hands after. I have this thing with my hands, it sweats all the time and it’s disgusting to be honest. When that part came, my friend was already used to it so she held my wrist instead. Eh. And when the shaking hands part came, we usually just shake like the people near us. But… the youth coordinator said since it was just us that were there, it would be great to go around and shake everyone’s hands. Now that was when my jaw dropped. I mean, really!? Who would want to shake my hands? Ew! Well, what I did was, I went around and wiped my hands with my shorts then I said, “My hands are sweaty. Peace be with you.” They either just smiled or laughed that looked like “oh don’t worry about it”. Yep, I think they’re aware of my sweaty hands now. Aaah, that made me feel so much better.

After the mass, we hung out at the main area playing ping pong or shuffleboard until we noticed that the two guy leaders were walking around outside. They were looking for their stuff that the boys hid in the girls’ cabin. We all went outside to watch them look for their stuff. It was pretty funny. We followed them as they headed to their cabin which by the way, we messed up. As they opened the door, there were streamers everywhere blocking their way. The boys were behind us as they looked at how messy their room looked. They didn’t look mad or anything so we didn’t run away after they saw it. Actually, one of them was happily jumping around as he teared the streamers. One of the guy leaders ran to our cabin while all the girls weren’t there. When we saw him leave, we ran after him but he already got to our cabin but before we could catch him, he apparently escaped through the window which broke the screen. I don’t exactly know what happened there since I was still by the guys’ cabin. I saw him run with a mattress which he got from the cabin beside us. Weird, I know. Although, one of the guy leaders stuff was still in our cabin, alright. I didn’t know what was going on, but I just saw the boys running around with a mattress too. And after awhile, I think they realized that they had lost their bathroom curtain and three lightbulbs so they went to our cabin but we already had our door locked. They were by the door while I watch them through the window. When it looked like they were gone, we were going to let one of the girls in and we asked her if the guys were gone and she nodded. We trusted her but that was our mistake since the guys were still there. Little did we know, she was working for the guys. Now the guys started pushing the door while us girls gathered around and tried to push the door to keep them away. It was crazy but in the end, they got their lightbulbs and they also found their bathroom curtain. But we traded the lightbulbs for the chips that they took from us, ugh! 

We had a crazy day but as we got called to the main area, the room was dark with candles around. There were cushions on the floor and we used them to kneel down. We sang songs from upbeat to slow ones. It was very calming and I was singing along too. Although, I was little tired so I indeed fell asleep. What we did was called Adoration and I liked it a lot. I got to pray while calming songs were playing. It was really nice to have that after having a crazy afternoon. When the adoration was done, we all headed to our cabin and we waited to get called. Of course, us girls just hung out in our cabin painting our toe nails and talking about whatever. It was really nice.

We headed to the main area after being called and we had snacks. Sundaes!!! It was supper delicious, yum! Most of us girls had our blankies wrapped around us. We were really cold. When we got to the main area, we also found some of the guys with their blankets. I guess most of us were cold, huh. After eating sundaes, we headed to where the bonfire was. All of us gathered there while we sang songs. Okay, well, not all of us sang. All of us couldn’t agree with one song but it was fun just sitting there with our blankies. Oh and the stars looked really beautiful that night. We all playfully argued what the moving, blinking thing was in the sky. Some said it was a planet, some said it was an airplane and some said it was a star. We didn’t know, really. When it was already 11:30, we all headed to our cabins. The bonfire was nice.

Oh, did I mention that the way to our cabin was really dark and there were bushes around? Well some of the boys decided to hide there and scare us on the way. It was a fun day but also really tiring. After changing to our PJs, we turned off the lights. Before we went to bed, us girls talked about.. random things. I told them about how I thought one of the guy leaders was the husband of one the girl’ leadesr. It was a funny story since I saw her hugging or playing around with her real husband in the main area. I didn’t know it then so I started to wonder why she was with him when one of the guy leaders was there and he could see them together. Thank God I had my friend with me to clarify things. Ugh, I felt so stupid. The girls and I just talked about cows and goats and other things until I fell asleep again… without realizing it. I was really tired then.

Part one of Retreat - Day 2 // May 19, 2012

Who wakes up at two in the morning and hears someone fart for fifteen seconds?! Unfortunately, this girl! And no, I’m not proud of it. It’s not my fault it was hot in the cabin and it woke me up. You know what sucks even more!? The fact that I smelled the fart and it stunk so bad so I hid under my covers and tried to fall asleep but it was so hot, it took me awhile to go back to sleep. 

Rise and shine!!! I woke up a little early but I didn’t get up immediately. I just layed down listening to my iPod while the others left to go take a shower. When they were done, I decided to go too. The shower was so hard to use because it’s either it turns to REALLY cold or REALLY hot. It took me so long to adjust the temperature and whatnot so I didn’t get to go to the rosary. The bell rang and I headed to the main area for breakfast. We had pancakes with blueberries and it was soooooo good! The food was simply amazing. I could stay there forever. The thought of leaving Moose Lake feared me. Being there made me forget about all the stressful things I needed to do when I get back home. 

After eating breakfast, we had one of the talks again which was pretty amazing. I listened and paid attention. It was nice to just sit there and listen to people share about their experiences. What I loved most about this camp was that they kept all the talks very interesting that it made people really pay attention. After doing the talk of the day, they gave us ten minutes to leave the main area because they needed to re-arrange it. And when the bell rang, the girls went to the main area while the boys went to the different cottage. When I entered the room, there were straighteners and curlers plugged in. Face masks on the table and nail polishes. Talk about girl time, woohoo!!! They also set up tea cups and we got to pick our own and take it home with us. They all looked so cute. We had cookies and got to drink using our tea cups while we did our nails and hairs. It was amazing, really. And one of the leaders put in feather extensions in my hair and she did the same to the others. It was amazing. After half an hour or so, one of our moms did a talk about girls. And how we’re all precious just like the tea cups. Really, it was such a meaningful talk especially for girls. I wonder what the boys talked about, hmm.

After that, we all gathered in the main area and we again got another free time as they prepared our lunch. We all headed to the other cottage where they served hotdogs. It was yummy! Our youth coordinator sat with us and he asked random questions such as favorite chips, or which flavor do we prefer. He also talked about how he’d been to Ireland and London, England. Gah, I was jealous. And our moms have travelled Europe, too! I wished I could do the same when I get older. It would be amazing!

After lunch, we got another free time but the weather was gloomy. Although, that did not stop us from going canoeing. They open at 1:15 PM so while waiting for the time, we headed to our cabin and on the floor layed the nail polishes. What did we do? We made a circle around it as we all played around with it. As time passed by, we noticed it was already 1:15 so we headed to the lake. We gathered our life vests and put them on. My friend and I decided to use the canoe and we were so excited since we’ve never canoed before. It was a great experience. The guy got us a canoe as we hopped on and he pushed us into the lake. We started to paddle and at first, we were doing a pretty good job, I guess. We got farther and I could tell the farther we go, the deeper the lake goes, duh. We weren’t so good at paddling because the others were already ahead when we got in before them. What a shame. We kept paddling until we got so far away, it was hard to see the shore. It was so much fun until it started to drizzle. It didn’t scare as for awhile until it started to get really windy. We tried paddling but it didn’t do anything. The wind just pushed us sideways. We were aiming for the shore but as we paddle, we were pretty much going in circles. There was a boat going around the lake, I guess they were trying to check on us. They smiled at us as they passed us and we tried to look like we knew what we were doing but to be honest, it freaked us out. Not only that, but we also bumped into other canoes and to someone kayaking. It started to rain really hard and it got wavy. That was when it freaked us out so much we were screaming. Some people were already on their way to the shore while my friend and I worked our butts off when nothing was happening. It felt like we were moving but it didn’t seem like we were going any farther. We were literally the only ones in the middle of the lake when the others were already near the shore. We started to panick even more when we saw the boat go pass us and we thought they were leaving us. My friend and I calmed down and we got quiet. The only thing we said was “Right” “Left” “Switch” “Keep paddling”. We were progressing and we were moving but the shore still looked so far away. My friend who was infront couldn’t see anything because her glasses were blurry from the rain. It wouldn’t stop raining and we were soaked. It was also really wavy which made us feel like our canoe was about to flip. After for how long, we saw the boat go near us and that was when we felt so relieved. They came back to save us! They helped us get out from our canoe as we stepped in to the boat. My friend and I were literally crying because we survived. We talked at the same time while the adults looked at us laughing. It was still raining hard. We stopped to save our friends as they got stranded too. It didn’t look like they were since they were doing fine. When they got in to the boat, the four of us started talking while we laughed at ourselves. We were all soaked and shaking. The weather was cold and it was also raining. Oh thank God we survived that. When we got to the shore, I have never been so happy to see the ground before. While we were running to our cabin, the bell rang. We just got there and it was already time for us to go back to the main area.

Retreat - Day 1 // May 18, 2012

It’s never fun to blog using your iPod.

We got to the church basement and found people have arrived already. I was excited to go, alright. Even though the plan was I didn’t want to go. Moose Lake was two hours drive from our town. I was with my friend and her sister and we got a ride from this couple that we always see at church. It’s really hard to ignore them considering the fact that they always sit infront with their family and they’re tall. At least taller than me. We haven’t met them yet, we just see them at church. On our way to Moose Lake, my friends and I wanted to ask how they met. It was hard not to wonder because they’re such a cute couple. All along, I thought they were in grade 12 but when they said they were 22, I was literally shocked. My friends and I decided to just wait for the perfect moment to ask. After a few minutes of deciding, she turned around and asked “So do you guys have boyfriends?” and we burst out laughing and screaming in the car. They probably think we’re weird. And that was when we decided it was the perfect moment. The car ride was a bit loud considering the three of us were non-stop talking.

When we arrived to Moose Lake, I had to stop breathing because I didn’t expect the place to look that beautiful. The main cottage/house/area- whatever you call it- was facing the lake. We quickly got our bags and proceededd to our cabins. My bag was a little hard to carry because it was a huge, VS bag. And I don’t know what I packed that made it so heavy. I tend to overpack a lot. The girl’s cabin was a little farther from the main area compared to the guys’ although I like our cabin. There were 6 bunk beds and I got the bottom one because the top one… Well, not a big fan. I can’t even climb the ladder without feeling scared. Scaredy cat, I know. After putting our stuff in our cabin, we heard the bell rang which was the sign that we needed to go to the main area. As we got there, I already liked the place. It looked so cozy and nice. I could literally stay there forever.

We started one of the talks which was about St. Paul and how he was blinded. We talked more about him and after doing so, we had a little activity. We put on blindfolds and held on a person’s shoulder. We made a long line and I knew we were heading outside. The guy’s hands on my shoulder felt a little sweaty which I really had no problem. I mean, my hands barely never sweats. I feel as if my hands are cursed, no joke. The line broke and I heard the person behind me being dragged away. I held on to the person in front of me to make sure I won’t get lost. We didn’t know where we were exactly but I knew for sure we were outside. We probably looked crazy walking around with blindfolds on, oh well. I could hear our group leader, or as we like to call it, one of our moms leading us. She kept saying, “Follow my voice.” and the person infront did what she was told. It was kind of like follow the leader but a different version. We all had our turns to be the leader. When it was my turn, I literally didn’t know where I was going. I was probably putting my group in danger as we needed to duck and crawl for like a minute. After walking around, someone held onto my shoulder again which meant we were forming a long line. We started walking and I felt like we were heading inside. I was right. When we got there, we took our blindfolds off and sat down on the floor. The room was dark with only the projector as our light. Our youth coordinator started taking. His voice coming from behind us. I didn’t dare look but I paid attention o what he was saying. There we photos on the screen. Photos of Jesus as he kept talking.

After that, we had free time which we spent outside for a bit. Then we headed to our cabin. I think we all just chilled there until we got called to the main are for snacks. At 11:30, we all needed to be in our cabin and at midnight, lights off. I am terrified of the dark. Even I can’t sleep with my lights off. What’s even frightening is that I picked the bed near the door. We had snack at the main area and all of us just stayed there and hung out. We played this game called “Big Booty” which was pretty fun. And when the clock hit 11:30, we all headed to our cabins. Before we slept, we got to our PJs and turned off the lights. I started to close my eyes to ignore the fact that the lights were off. Then all of a sudden, I heard talking. Then we all realized someone was sleep talking. She sang and answered questions that were asked, it was pretty hilarious. Our moms started asking her questions and all of us just laughed. I fell asleep without realizing it.

I just hate it when my mom makes me want to do something and as much as I want to say “No.”, it’s like she’s expecting me to say “Yes”. But I can’t, but then again, she’s my mom and I hate disappointing her. I don’t even know how she sees me anymore! There’s this camp that will be next weekend hosted by our church and none of my friends are going but my mom wants me to go. It’s no fun going to camp with no friends. Anyways, she asks me everyday if I’ve decided. Actually, yes, I have but I don’t want to tell her because I know she’ll get mad at me and complain about this and that. And how I’m always at home and I’m not doing anything. The thing is, if I want to go out of the house, I don’t want to ask her if I could go because I start thinking she’ll say no. If I stay home, she complains about it. It’s so confusing. I don’t get parents. I asked my friend if she’d want to go to camp with me but her mom said no, and now I’m doomed. I told my mom I’ll tell her my answer today or tomorrow. If I tell her I don’t want to go because I have no one to go with, she’ll be like “So? Just go alone, make friends.” It’s not that easy especially when the people who will be there are already friends. And yes, I think I already know the people who are attending. The kids that I always see in church, and I never see them anywhere except church so how am I suppose to talk to them? They don’t even go to my school. It’s not like I could just go up to them while they’re singing and be like “Oh hey.” No, it’s not that easy! And besides, I’m such an awkward person. I just can’t go by myself especially surrounded with people who are already close and share so much inside jokes. I’ll just be there…. Just there. It’s like my mom is trying to make me active. To participate with a lot of stuff but that’s not me. I’m not that person. I’d much rather prefer staying home, watching a good movie by myself or read a good book. It’s not that I’m anti-social, it’s just that sometimes, I’m lacking confidence especially when I have no one with me. And some people are just so intimidating which makes my confidence go down. That’s usually why I get so awkward, I guess. Ah, sometimes, I just suck at meeting new people, sometimes I don’t. It’s weird like that but I can’t go to camp and I don’t know how to tell my mom about it. She’ll just force me and I’ll end up saying yes. And if I do, my life will be miserable for three days. I can already imagine myself if I ever do go to that camp. Gosh, it’s like I can’t even go on a day without worrying about something. Well, I only worry about them when it’s getting really close to date. I can’t believe my mom’s friend said no. She was my only chance!! Now I don’t even want to get out of my room and face my mom in fear that she’ll start asking me about camp. And I can’t even concentrate reading my book because all I could think about is this stupid camp that I DON’T WANT TO GO TO!!!

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I think you should blog the way you want to blog, not what other bloggers expect you to blog. And I also think that you should follow the people you want to follow, and not just follow someone because you gain something from them.